Should you or shouldn’t you? The answer is you shouldn’t. But, as it’s crucial to the excitement of having one to let all experience, wisdom, and proffered advice go out the window, you are probably going to go ahead anyway. An affair can be excitingly illicit, deeply passionate, and often liberating—all the things that a long-term relationship isn’t. Affairs can also bring heartbreak, not just to the two people involved, but to their respective partners, children, and extended families.
1. Be discreet.
2. Don’t neglect your children.
3. Suspenders and stockings are always good.
4. Remember your friends, as you may need them in due course.
5. However wonderful it is, remind yourself occasionally that most affairs have a lifetime of six months to two years.
6. Don’t slag off your lover’s partner or join in when he does it. It’s unfair and it’s undignified.
7. If your lover is in a relationship and you are single, only you are allowed to set the rules.
8. If your lover tells you he wants to try and make his marriage work, have the good grace to let him try.
9. Occasionally put yourself through the shipwreck scenario, i.e. what are all the long-term options, both good and bad? Be honest with yourself.
10. If your lover’s partner becomes seriously ill in any way, his job is to support her. You must put your relationship on hold.
11. Protect your heart. (v: Cami-knickers, Contraception, Creative corsetry, Family therapy, Grief, I don’t, Lawyers, Loss, Money matters, Rejection, Teenagers)
Laughter
“The appreciative laughter of a girl, however charming, is not to be compared to the deep pleasurable laughter in which a woman of intelligence can envelop a man.” —Daily Mail, 25 January 2010, Howard Jacobson
(v: Female comedians)
Arms
A beautiful, well-toned arm is sexy, and light work with weights and regular swimming will deliver results. However, if you do have a tendency to bingo wings, a forgiving cropped sleeve will do the trick.
Port de bras in ballet means “the carriage of the arms,” where the aim is to be graceful, poised and seamless at all times. Love your arms.
(v: Boxing, Pilates, Wild swimming)